When you are in serious pain, there is so much desperation and despair.  A lot of you feel hurt and betrayed, but I do not feel that way.  You have to take personal responsibility for your care and not leave it in the hands of others. But when left with no other options I can see how suicide is necessary and I wish more than anything that it was legalized.

I believe there are a lot of addicts out there, but mostly it is people who don't take their health seriously and their issues just snow ball.

Medical science has a long way to go still and a lot of people have to find that out the hard way.  Even if your extremely wealthy there is not likely going to be a cure any time soon.  

What is the most difficult is that if your immediate family doesn't take responsibility for your illness, you are at the mercy of the doctors.  The pain medication helps a lot. I take it two times a week instead of every day like the prescription suggests so I can go the distance with just one drug of choice.

I wish you all luck on your quest.  You just have to keep telling yourself that fighting your disease will bring you closer to God no matter how steep an uphill battle.