Middle-aged parents are more involved in their grown children's lives than ever, according to new research from Purdue University.
"We found that middle-aged parents help each of their grown children with many types of support at least every few weeks," said Karen Fingerman, the Berner-Hanley Professor in Gerontology, Developmental and Family Studies. "This is a dramatic increase from 20 years ago, when young adults received much less support from their parents."
Not all grown children get the same support, and which children parents help most may surprise some people, Fingerman said. Most people expect parents to help their youngest child or one that is struggling, but the family studies expert found that parents also are more eager to help the child they consider most successful.
"No matter which adult child receives the most support, today's parents are helping each child with significant forms of support every few weeks," Fingerman said. "We've heard a lot about helicopter parents this decade, and often the comments are negative. Parents are giving a considerable amount of help to grown children, and they play a critical role in helping young adults make the transition from adolescence to adulthood.
"It's a complicated world today. An 18-year-old just can't strike out on their own to make it like they did 100 years ago. We're beyond the time when the average young person could start a career by working with their hands, and then start a little business that would support them and their family. Today's trajectory to success requires a lot of skill and training, which comes at a cost in terms of money, time and emotional investment. Parents help with all of that."
Fingerman also said it can be more difficult for young adults to find life partners today, and many of them are postponing marriage until they are older. As a result, these adult-children still benefit from parental emotional and social support.
Fingerman and her team evaluated how more than 600 parents, ages 40-60, reported they supported their individual children and for what reasons. The forms of support included financial, helping with tasks, giving advice, emotional support, listening and participating in social activities. The study will be published in this month's Journal of Marriage and Family.
Children who had health or financial problems, injuries, or were victims of crime were considered needy and received a great deal of support to help address those needs. Parents also provided considerable support to grown children they deemed successful in their own relationships and careers. It was these children that parents enjoyed helping the most.