New source for sexual problems in men – buddies!

By Dr. Ananya Mandal, MDAug 12 2011

Social researchers have found that there may be a new source for sexual problems among middle-aged and older men and it could be the relationships between their female partners and the men's closest friends.

Cornell University and University of Chicago researchers examined the data from the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project (a comprehensive survey at the University of Chicago that was based on analysis of the sprawling National Social Life, Health and Aging Project included 3,005 people, from ages 57 to 85) and found a connection between erectile dysfunction and the social networks shared by heterosexual men and their partners. The researchers described the situation as “partner betweenness”. Middle-aged to older men whose wives are closer to their friends than they are themselves are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction said the study.

Partner ‘betweenness’ refers to the dynamic of a relationship in which one partner is closer with their spouse's friends than they are. The study found the phenomenon to have a particularly acute effect on male sex drive, especially in men aged 57-65.

The cause for sexual dysfunction has less to do with jealousy than it does privacy and autonomy. Researchers say when men feel like they lose that connection with their friends to their spouse, it threatens their masculinity. According to the study, men whose wives are closer confidants to their friends than they are have a 92-percent higher chance of developing sexual dysfunction.

Retirement or reduced workforce participation can be “very threatening to a male's understanding of himself,” study author Edward Laumann explained. “During this particular period where the wife has more contact with a male confidant, that, we argue, is more challenging to this person's sense of identity and undercuts his ability to perform sexually,” Laumann said. The good news is that the phenomenon tapered off as men got older. In their 70s and 80s, men's sense of masculinity changes from father-figure and breadwinner to grandfatherly mentor with the consequence that men are less likely to be threatened by a female partner's intimacy with male friends, the study found. The study was published in the American Journal of Sociology.