Midlife crisis is hitting Britons earlier: Survey

By Dr. Ananya Mandal, MDSep 30 2010

The latest British research shows that the midlife crisis that was once thought to hit people on their fifties is now affecting people in their mid-thirties. The changes in the work culture may be the main reason say researchers.

It means that men are less than halfway up the career ladder by their mid-30s, they are unlikely to get to the top - with the average age of a chief executive now 48, down from 59 a generation ago. Also tensions in the mid-thirties have touched an all time high with most people worrying about young children, money, mortgages, pensions and aging parents.

The survey was conducted by UK marriage guidance service Relate in conjunction with TalkTalk, the phone company. It involved more than 2,000 people of all ages. Those aged from 35 to 44 were the loneliest, most dissatisfied with their marriage and unhappiest at work. 21% of this age group said they felt lonely compared to a surprising 13% in the over 65 age group.

Seniors are traditionally considered to be the loneliest. 28% of the younger group left a job because of a difficult relationship with a colleague or boss, the highest in any group. One in five had had depression because of relationship problems and almost a third wanted to cut their working hours, again the highest of any group.

Sexual life is also sagging in this age group with majority having sex between one and three times a week. One in five had sex less than once a year and 8.3 per cent not at all. Among those aged 45 to 54 one in ten was not having sex at all. Only two in five were satisfied with their sex life, one in five said it was “adequate” and one in ten “disappointing”. Just fewer than eight percent described their sex life as “mind-blowing”. 40 percent had been cheated on by a partner.

Common complaints regarding marriage in both men and women were the lack of communication. Women found snoring the second annoying thing in their marriage and men found controlling the remote a second disgusting trait in their wives.

Counsellors found that most couples were in front of the computer or television in the evenings with very little “shared experience that can lead to conversation.” Communication with children has also declined with a quarter of parents said they used social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace to keep in contact with their children, while one in 10 parents said they had no face to face contact with their children at all.

One of the advisors of the project, Occupational psychology professor Cary Cooper from the UK's Lancaster University said people had to “work smarter” by using technology to work more flexibly and productively.

Claire Tyler, chief executive of Relate said, “Traditionally we associate the midlife crisis with people in their late 40s to 50s, but the report reveals that this period could be reaching people earlier than we would expect…It's when life gets really hard - you're starting a family, pressure at work can be immense and increasingly money worries can be crippling.”