Love of money may damage marriage

By Dr. Ananya Mandal, MDOct 16 2011

A new study reveals that couple who think money and things before everything else might be worse off in their relationships than those who aren't as materialistic. The study was published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy.

Researchers surveyed 1,734 married couples across the U.S. about their attitudes toward relationship values and issues such as materialism, compassion, communication and the importance of marriage. They found that among participants, 58.7% had either high or low levels of materialism. In that group, 24.1% were both non-materialistic, 34.1% were both materialistic, and the rest had dissimilar materialism levels, with one spouse ranking high and the other low.

They note that couples who didn't place high value on money and things scored moderately higher--about 10% to 15%--on almost every marriage feature on the questionnaire compared with couples who valued materialism. The scores of mismatched couples fell between those who were matched. “Couples where both spouses are materialistic were worse off on nearly every measure we looked at,” said lead author Jason Carroll, a professor of family life at Brigham Young University. He added, “There is a pervasive pattern in the data of eroding communication, poor conflict resolution and low responsiveness to each other.”
Also those having more money also did not fare well. Couples in which both spouses were materialistic tended to be wealthier than couples who didn't place such importance on money. “How these couples perceive their finances seems to be more important to their marital health than their actual financial situation,” noted Carroll.

This may have implications for couples' counseling, the authors noted. “Efforts to develop new interventions aimed directly at addressing the problems associated with materialism in marriage,” they wrote, “may be particularly relevant in the current economic context where financial resources may be lower than many couples' expectations.”

“The finding does not necessarily mean that it is the materialism itself that damages their relationships. ... A materialistic orientation may be associated with other unidentified factors, such as childhood deprivation or neglect, which might play a more pivotal role in adult marital satisfaction,” said Don Catherall, professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University in Chicago. “Of course, it may also simply mean that people who are more focused on making money have less energy and interest left to invest in their marriages.” Other studies have shown that materialism is correlated with a host of personality traits and interpersonal skills that might hinder a marriage.

“People who are materialistic tend to be narcissistic and concerned with impressing people,” said Susan Heitler, a Denver-based clinical psychologist and creator of marriage resource site Poweroftwomarriage.com. “They have a tendency to be anxious, depressed, have relatively poor relationship skills and have low self-esteem. These qualities in turn can cause marital problems.”

“Spouses that are mismatched on materialism may do better in their relationships than spouses with shared materialistic values because at least one spouse may possess more 'other-centeredness' and 'emotional readiness,'” said Laura Frame, clinical psychologist and supervisor of the Supporting Healthy Relationships Program at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.

“I think it's about people stepping back and taking an inventory of their values and what really is important to them,” Carroll concluded. “Are we allowing some of our materialistic ambitions to get in the way of things that really, at the core, matter a lot to us?”