I know how you feel. Money comes and goes, but the only thing that has given me anything close to real peace is God and my personal relationship with Jesus. I know that may sound corny to some people, but honestly, my relationship with Jesus has helped me finally find some happiness in life.
Both of my parents passed away young — my stepdad at 63 and my mom at 59. My dad was very abusive and a heavy drinker. He was Puerto Rican, and my mom struggled with a lot of health issues. She never really went to the doctor because she was raising six kids while dealing with an abusive, alcoholic husband. Both of my parents also used drugs, so my childhood was wild.
I ran away at 14 and lived on the streets. I basically raised myself. Now I’m 37 and have been diagnosed with different mental health issues, but I don’t take the medication because it never helped me. It just made me sleep for days, and sometimes it felt like they wanted me dead with all those meds. I prefer more natural things.
I’ve been through a lot, from childhood all the way into adulthood, and it has been hard to find joy. But when I found Jesus and opened my heart, He became the one thing that truly brought me joy — besides my kids.

You can't be successful without feeling contentment with what you chose to do with yourself. That's joy. The fact that you are here writing a long response to this shows that you found a joy. Joy doesn't have to be laughing in hysterics. Joy doesn't need to be motivation to doing what everyone else feels is a pleasure. I believe much of this is hogwash. And many are overly judged if they show emotions. They are expected to be numb as if numb is normal and that's what drugs cause is numbness and unalertness. Some people who seem to be dry and numb lacking emotion are the same people who criticize people who have emotional character. Fact is we are not all born as carbon copy clones of each other and that would make this a very lame boring world full of zombies if we all had to be how the heigherachy suggests we are to be think or feel.  You have your joy and perhaps the way you experience your joy isn't what others identify with. You are here doing what you personally enjoy. You are not meant to be the same as others.

Hi Kay,
One of my earliest childhood memories almost mirrors yours! I had to be around 3 or 4, my dad was also an alcoholic and my parents would fight when he drank and I remember my mom would take me and my sister and brother (the youngest 3 of the 10 children) and flea in the middle of the night! We slept in church stairwells, park benches etc till my dad left for work the next day. They eventually divorced but life never really got easier. I am in my early 50"s now and life holds no joy! And for intents and purpose it really should. I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer for a second time and the sad part was I wasn't as upset as I should have been, it's as if I was like ok I'm done anyway. Well it's not terminal so I guess I have more time to try and figure out of I will ever truly be happy on this lifetime ❤️

Like, I’ve always wondered why I feel and act the way I do around people, events, and stuff in general. Honestly, I never really enjoyed the friendships, chances, or even love I got. I think I was looking for happiness in the wrong places or people. Totally get what that article was saying. My parents left me, and I bounced around between houses. Got adopted at 4, but my adopted mom and grandparents were super abusive. My adopted mom used to hit me, and I ended up in the hospital a bunch. Those things still mess with me but they have less affected on me today and I find healing through faith and childhood trauma counseling. I dont use substances to cope even though sometimes I want to drink to forget. I was prescribed antidepressant but they made me feel not like myself so I stopped taking them. I think we all here have Complex Chifhood Post Trauma Syndrome or CPTSD. Our thought and feeling are very disregulated because what had happened to us. Through work with counselors who understand this can help bring balance in our lives.